At six, Theodora Colderidge wanted three things when she grew up: someone to love, a baby boy, and a pony.
Even after the Big Death, she clutched onto that small promise, as if getting those three things would magically turn the world better, undo the plague, make everyone come back. Love. Baby boy. Pony. It became a mantra of wishes, and soon enough Theo learned how to always make her wishes come true.
Once upon a time in Clarefield, back before the End of the World came knocking on her door, nobody could refuse her anything. She had her Brain Boys, and all the incentive any boy needed lay safely in the promise of chocolate and cheerleaders. She provided a public service for the charity cases. Social welfare for the nerds. She knew how a boy's mind worked, how inseperable effort and reward were within their Einstein heads. She trained them easily, puppies performing tricks for that one nice, meaty, juicy...bone.
But that was an eternity ago, long before her body betrayed her. Why she never had to deal with a pregnancy until now was one of those mysterious things the new guy in the Mountain liked to call a "miracle." Mister Smith. He hung around the hallways smiling his serene, "I-ain't-got-brains-rattling-in-my-skull"
So maybe that shit about God was true.
Or maybe the man got a handful of four-leaf clovers shoved up his ass and never once ran into trouble. Hell, that sounded easier to believe than him speaking for God.
Because that meant God finally had something to say, and if God had something to say to Theo, He'd better be doing it Himself instead of sending His doughy little mouthpiece.
She rested splayed hands on her round belly, recalling the excitement in Smith's voice, the near-reverent tone when he cornered her in the corridors and told her God thought Leo was a damn wonderful name for her boy.
Theo replied with a loud whoop of disbelief. "You trying to tell me that God says 'damn'?"
"Sometimes," Smith shrugged his shoulders. "When it fits the situation."
A baby boy.
She didn't count on the pregnancy changing how people treated her. Random people kept coming up to her asking when she was due. Then they leaned over to speak gibberish to her stomach. All "goo-goos" and "gah-gahs" and the ever-so-popular "widdle one." She was no longer Theo, undisputed, much-feared, and much-respected leader of Clarefield. In Thunder Mountain, she became "that pregnant woman." And the glow! That fucking "I'm pregnant" glow on her skin, like she swallowed a tangle of Christmas lights, and her belly's shining brighter than the angel on top the tree!
Theo grunted. Leo or whatever the hell was inside her had decided to make its presence known to her again, kicking and flailing as if desperate to get out and see the world.
"Ain't nothing much to see," she muttered softly, chin tilted down towards her chest, her fingertips caressing the bulge of her stomach. "Just the same old shit over and over. Don't understand why you in such a hurry to get out."
Once most of Thunder Mountain had fed and dispersed back to their mostly menial but potentially world-altering tasks, she wandered through the wide double doors and slid into a seat near the entrance of the cafeteria. She let out a sigh of relief, her body betraying her again and bringing aches in places she didn't realize could sense pain.
"You should eat something." Erin skidded a tray across the tabletop to Theo and sat down opposite. She was dressed in her workout clothes: sports bra and tank top. Loose-fitting pants tied off around her slender, taut waist, her hair pulled neatly back into a tight ponytail. "The potato soup is edible today. I think they actually used fresh potatoes this time instead of those flakes that come out of the boxes."
"I know, I know." Theo waved a hand in the air dismissively, trying to ignore the tiny bubble of jealousy forming at the sight of Erin's getup. Would be months before she'd be able to wear something similar again...maybe even years. Hell, she knew some women never shed off those baby-carrying pounds. Theo channeled her frustration into sighing dramatically and dabbing the back of her hand against her forehead to wipe away some imaginary fop sweat. "For this," her hands gripped either side of her belly. "Right? I'm eating for two now, right? Shouldn't ignore this glorious, bundle of joy can't wait to burst through my insides like that Alien baby..." She snatched up the spoon and ate, her scowl easing for a moment before returning again.
Erin shifted her weight on the bench. "I didn't mean..."
"Mmph..." Theo murmured, not attempting to talk around the mouthful of pleasantly warm soup sloshing around her cheeks. Her hands raised to warn of a slight wait as she chewed and swallowed. "I know what you meant. You're worried about this little thing growing inside me. You're just the twentieth person in line got to say the same thing. Now ain't you proud?"
"Wow, well..." Erin slipped the band off her ponytail and let her hair fall to her shoulders, tucking a portion of it behind her ear. "Excuse me for trying to get you lunch."
Theo let out a humorless chuff of laughter. "No good deed goes unpunished. Your Momma never tell you that?" Another slurp of the soup.
"That's funny. I thought it was 'No good deed goes unrewarded.'"
"You say it your way. I say it mine."
"You just..." Erin took in a deep breath, gathering up strength for what needed to be said. Dealing with Theo was a very delicate process, and definitely not for the faint of heart. Markus kowtowed to her every word, promised her things in order to get her cooperation. Theo bit and bristled like a wild animal, all spiked-over like a porcupine. "You're still okay with it?"
"What? This?" Theo pointed at her stomach, her face widening in mock-horror. "Oh my goodness gracious me!" Her eyelids fluttered, her actions those of a stereotypical helpless little girl. "Whatever could be the ailment I might be suffering from? Hmmm? Maybe it's a case of...Got Knocked Up-itis?" Her smile curled into a grimace. Erin was obviously trying to give her a splitting headache on purpose. Theo pressed her fingers against either side of her head, trying to smooth the stabbing pain away.
"You never said who the father was."
Theo smirked. "Daniel."
"That's...that's not even funny."
"Mmmm-hmmmm. Never claimed it was, honey. Never claimed it was." The ache squeezed tighter around her skull, the tension firm and unyielding. "What's a girl gotta do to get an aspirin around here anyway?"
Erin could barely contain her amused grin. "Obtaining two tablets of regular strength aspirin requires two forms, one from Storage and the other from Medical. Both signed by personnel with at least a clearance Delta on their names. Markus drafted stricter guidelines after our supply started to dwindle."
"Damn, I bet you gotta fill out three forms just to fart..."
"Actually? It's only one. Stand still." Erin slipped behind Theo and grabbed at her wrists, pushing her arms down to the table. "This is how people without permission forms deal with pain." She pressed cool fingertips on Theo's temples, gently tracing tiny circles upon her skin. "Stress is normal for you right now. I'm here to remind you that it's okay to be scared. It's okay to cry and be angry. But it's not okay to do any of it alone."
"Mmmmm....didn't think I'd get lectured by a skinny ass white girl know it all." Theo shut her eyes, concentrating on the pressure of Erin's touch, on the tenderness of it. Yet with each completion of the circle, more of her headache seemed to flow away.
"Running away won't solve anything," Erin said, her deft caresses punctuating her words. "You've faced more monumental challenges than this. Why stop? Vent. Wail. Scream. I've heard that's a well-known Theo trait. This..." Her hand slid down to Theo's belly. "This is going to change your life. It shouldn't change you."
"And you know all there is to know about babies?"
Erin's hand refused to leave the bulge of Theo's stomach. "Enough to know when someone needs help."
"You wanna help me raise my boy?"
Erin froze. "We don't have any operational imaging systems. No ultrasound...you're sure it's a boy?"
"Fact came all the way from God to Smith's mouth. So, you. Miss Smartass. You never answered my question. You wanna help me raise my boy?"
"You mean, like a godmother or something?"
Theo hooted, her head tilting backwards. "A goddamn fairy godmother. And did I tell you to stop?"
An indulgent smile spread across Erin's lips, her hands returning to the sides of Theo's head, fingers concentrated on dismissing the last of that hurt.
At six, Theodora Colderidge wanted three things when she grew up: someone to love, a baby boy, and a pony.
Twenty years later, a fairy godmother came to grant all her wishes.
Well, maybe the pony was kind of a lost cause...